It's Good To Be The King
by mispel
Summary: Zack has needs. Hodgins has to figure out what to do with him. JackZack slash.
1. Chapter 1

It's Good To Be The King

Chapter 1

* * *

"Socks then pants," Zack said.

As she walked through the lab, Angela stopped to listen.

"Pants then socks," Jack disagreed as he peered through a microscope.

"So you already settled socks vs. shoes?" Angela asked. The two of them had the nerve to look at her like she was crazy. "Yeah, it would be silly to argue about that." She rolled her eyes as she walked away from them.

"I swear those two will argue about anything, just like an old married couple," Angela told Temperance as she approached her. Temperance raised her eyes from the bones she had been examining to see who Angela meant. Angela's thumb indicated Zack and Hodgins.

"They have entered into a domestic arrangement of sorts," Temperance said. She was making an anthropological observation not gossiping.

"Of what sort exactly?" Angela asked with a raised eyebrow.

Temperance looked from her to Zack and Hodgins. It was a probing look that apparently told her nothing. She shrugged.

* * *

Sitting in the cafeteria, Jack looked at his sandwich suspiciously. Zack was already finished with his food and only stayed behind to harangue Jack.

"Everyone thinks we're a cohabiting gay couple. I can't get anyone to date me," Zack complained over his empty plate. He sat with his hands in his lap looking sullen.

"That's not why," Jack informed him as he pulled some limp lettuce out of his sandwich.

"You aren't having any trouble." Zack squinted with envy. "It's not fair."

"I have ways," Jack said after he swallowed.

"I want ways."

"Do you?" Jack asked provocatively

"Maybe." Zack was less assertive now. Jack shook his head and smiled a condescending smile as he turned back to his food.

"There are benefits to being dated by Jack Hodgins," Jack mused. He was quite a guy and he knew how to please a woman. Hodgins was smirking to himself. He almost missed what Zack was saying.

"I want benefits. I don't get anything out of this." Zack pointed back and forth at him and Jack, stirring the air between them.

Jack chewed his food.

"I want to be wined and dined, with gifts," Zack demanded. He crossed his arms like a petulant child.

"You aren't even putting out."

"I can put out."

"You would just lie there," Jack scoffed.

"No, I wouldn't. I would do things, inventive and acrobatic things."

Jack only continued to eat his sandwich.

* * *

Angela was understanding and patient. Zack told her his woes.

"He goes out all the time and leaves me all alone," Zack whined.

"Honey, could you try and sound a little less like a neglected housewife," Angela told him.

"That's why I have this." Zack produced a book. Angela took one look at the title.

"Zack, sweetie, you know, the Kama Sutra should come with a warning label. You'll sprain something."

"Jack doesn't take me seriously. I need an attractant," Zack said. He considered himself for a thoughtful moment. He was not alluring or exciting. Angela was considering him too. She looked him over, kindly.

"You have that beautiful brain," Angela said.

"I can't show him my brain. Unless..." While Zack considered which scanning technique would best show off his main asset, Angela brushed at his bangs.

"You have beautiful eyes. I'll let you borrow my eyeliner." Angela's joking words didn't register as a joke.

"I don't think Jack is attracted to eyeliner." Though the women Jack dated did wear eyeliner, Zack didn't think that was what drew Jack to them. It was their clothes.

"I need sexy clothes. Tight, binding, sexy clothes," Zack decided.

"Don't say binding, sweetie. It makes Angela's mind go to a bad place."

Zack peered at Angela to determine what bad place she meant. Seeing the look on her face, Zack realized that he didn't know what Jack liked to do with his dates. Maybe Angela knew things about unusual sexual practices. Things that he should know.

"Do you think Hodgins..."

"No."

"But maybe..."

"No."

* * *

It had been dark for hours by the time they left the Jeffersonian. The traffic was thin. Streetlights bounced off the car windows. Jack could barely keep himself awake as he drove Zack and himself home. Even the ticking of the turn signal as he pulled into the driveway seemed soothing. Jack yawned as he got out of the car, not sure if eating was worth the trouble if it kept him from going straight to bed. Zack must not have been tired, he turned Jack around by his shoulders, pressed him against the car and kissed him. Jack was now awake as Zack's tongue sneaked into his mouth. Jack found himself nearly horizontal on the hood of his car when Zack paused to take a breath. Jack felt one of Zack's thighs pushing between his legs, putting one of Jack's thighs between Zack's legs. Jack's first order of business was to forestall another kiss with a restraining hand on Zack's chest. Zack smiled at the contact. Pulling his hand away, Jack pushed himself up off the hood of his car and disentangled their limbs.

"Weren't you sniffling earlier?" Jack asked. He vaguely remembered some noisy nose wiping at the Jeffersonian.

"Are you changing the subject?" Zack asked.

"What do you think the subject is?" Jack crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the car while he got his bearings.

"Sex," Zack answered simply.

"I don't want to have a cold when you have a cold. And if you want on the subject, your mail might be arriving here 'care of', but I don't want to be all tied up with you."

"Angela suggested that tying me up might appeal to you."

"You are like the _hirudinea limnatis nilotica_. "

"You just called me a leech," Zack observed.

"Not just any leech, Zack. If you're not careful, this sucker climbs inside you through any unguarded orifice and sucks you till you can't breathe..."

While Hodgins painted this pretty picture, Zack looked at him funny then interrupted.

"Are we flirting now?"

Jack had to think about how leech talk could be considered flirting. His answer was "No."

"How will I know when we're flirting?" Zack asked.

"Flirting, Zack? What else do you picture us doing? Holding hands? Gazing at each other adoringly while enjoying a romantic picnic?"

"We could do those things if you want, but I was thinking some kind of indoor sexual activity. If you are not ready for intercourse we..."

"If I'm not ready? You don't even have the training wheels off." Jack couldn't believe his ears.

"I plan to make up for my relative inexperience with youthful enthusiasm."

Jack had to laugh. He was almost willing to find out how Zack would try and impress the pants off him.

"You are kind of hard to dump, Addy."

"You are bad at dumping."

"We need to stop saying that word."

"I agree."

That seemed to be the only thing they were agreeing on. Zack was still standing a little too close, like he was going to start making out with him on the front lawn.

"Zack, go to bed, I don't feel like flushing a friendship down the toilet tonight."

"I thought we agreed to stop speaking scatologically."

"We shouldn't need to have this little talk, Zack. Do the math. Or do I value our friendship more than you do?"

"No, you don't," Zack said competitively. Then he reconsidered the matter from a more scientific standpoint. "Actually, there is no way to quantify that. A true comparison is impossible."

"Good, then I win."

"My subjective impression is that I care more."

"You just want me for sex."

Zack looked indignant.

"I have deep and abiding feelings that I will..."

Jack put his fingers in his ears.

Zack gave him an intense stare. Jack turned away, kept his ears plugged as he walked to his front door and swore to himself that he wasn't going to let this little incident keep him awake.

* * *

Lying in bed, awake, Jack laced his fingers behind his head. His feelings for Zack were not the feelings he had when he wanted someone, he was sure of that. He felt protective, annoyed, OK a little aroused at the moment but nothing he couldn't control. He just wanted to leave some lines uncrossed. The world was a mind numbing chaos of wrongs and secrets, he wanted his personal life to be uncomplicated, a series of beautiful women he could forget about as they faded into a river of sex and glamor, long legs and luxurious hair, sumptuous restaurants and gorgeous bodies. Did any of that sound like Zack? The thought of his hands in Zack's hair flashed through his mind. The rest of the picture played itself out in a strobe effect - his hands holding on to Zack's hair as he worked himself into his mouth. Jack could feel the cool sheets against his bare ass, his pajama bottoms were down as he gripped himself hard - more like he wanted to strangle the urge not satisfy it. Zack didn't know what he was asking for.

* * *

Now Hodgins was trying to answer Angela's intrusive and unnecessary why not Zack question. She was just too open minded.

"You're half way there," Angela said with a shrug. She was sketching a dead man while they talked. Hodgins was leaning against her desk, half facing her.

"How am I... If I was ever going to consider going that route, it wouldn't be with Zack. Zack doesn't know moderation. It would be like jumping into the deep end of a volcano."

"Oooh. That sounds hot. And you love risk, sweetie," Angela said pointing at him with her pencil.

"Physical risks are different. Sure you might die, but there's the thrill the high the rush."

"Maybe there'll be a thrill, a high and a rush with Zack?" She made it a question so it was clear she didn't believe a word of it.

"You know when you had sex with that guy you thought was so sweet and adorable and you were bored out of your mind because he didn't know what the hell he was doing while he was just fumbling around so you had to teach him everything?"

"How do you know about that?"

"I was guessing. There had to be at least one."

"Hodgins, you are treading on thin ice," she warned him. He shrugged. "And contradicting yourself," she added. "Which is it - is Zack too hot for you or not hot enough?"

"Zack is...Zack is Zack," he non-explained. "You get my point. I'll count myself ahead with a friendship saved."

"Aww," Angela said like his friendship with Zack was a particularly cute kitten with a broken leg. Then she contemplated her dead man.

"I guess you know what you want," she said.

"Damn right."

Without a doubt Hodgins knew what he didn't want. He didn't want to find out what sex with Zack would be like.

* * *

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

It's Good To Be The King

Chapter 2

* * *

Dr. Brennan and Zack were out for the day. There was a jigsaw puzzle of bones from several victims thanks to a serial killer who liked to bury and rebury his victims. He would dig them up periodically and rearranged the remains, mix and match. Serial killers have too much time on their hands. The remains were scattered over half a dozen sites. Zack was out with Brennan on a little field trip so they could see the arrangement of bones first hand. The two of them had been gone most of the day. Jack was busy trying to determine the migration of the bones, where they were moved from, where they were moved to and moved again so they could trace them to their original location and original owners.

Word came in while Jack was elbow deep in slides. Shots had been fired at the site where Zack and Dr. Brennan were excavating. That was it. No additional information came in for almost an hour.

Jack stared at his computer, his equipment. He looked around the lab, over at Zack's station, then at Dr. Brennan's office. He turned back to the work in front of him. He had nightmares like this. He would stare at the crazy apparatus around him without knowing what any of it was for. He was useless. The instruments were foreign, incomprehensible. Words and numbers on the computer screen were gibberish. He just sat there and stared, helpless. The nightmare went on until word came. Dr Brennen had been grazed slightly. Zack wasn't hurt. Jack's breath came back to him. He giggled to himself and jumped in his seat. Angela cried and hugged him.

* * *

Zack accompanied some bones to the Jeffersonian, then went straight home. Jack waited for him and tackled him at the door.

"You are glad to see me," Zack concluded in his slow, boy genius way, while Jack still had him in a fierce hug.

"I am congratulating you on not getting shot. Good job, Addy. Now I can get some sleep." Jack slapped him on the shoulder and tried to let go.

Zack only got closer. He smelled like earth and being outdoors all day. His hair was a little stuck together, uncombed.

"We're done hugging, Zack," Jack informed him, trying to disengage.

"Are we?"

"Yes."

Zack let go, but he didn't move away. They were crowding the doorway. Zack looked Jack in the eye without blinking.

"What are we doing now?" Zack asked.

"We're having an uncomfortable moment," Jack told him.

"I'm comfortable."

"Just me then. Out of my way, Addy," Jack said as he tried to make it past Zack.

"I don't think I like rejection," Zack moped and made a clinical observation all in one.

Jack stopped but didn't turn.

"It doesn't feel good from this end either."

"Then stop it."

"Not gonna happen, Zack. Glad you are alive."

Jack left mostly feeling good. The evening air was pleasantly cool. Around Zack, it was thick and warm. Like he brought a cloud of tiny flies, maybe _Chironomidae, _swarming around Jack's head so he couldn't see and he was afraid to breathe.

* * *

Hodgins tapped a pen against the edge of the desk. Zack was across the room brushing dust off a bone. For now, he was paying no attention to Jack. In fact, it was Jack who was staring at him. Jack turned around. He had been enacting a strategy of subtle discouragement - limiting his time with Zack, standing at a more platonic distance. Still, the tension was inescapable. Even with his back turned, Hodgins felt it like a tight wire stretched between them. Cut the wire. No, he didn't want Zack gone. He liked him. He was uncomplicated. Until now. Jack considered possible exit strategies. He could turn cold. He could tell him to move out. Booth had no trouble keeping Zack at arms length with that "down boy!" attitude. Brennen, well she was a pro at keeping people at a distance. Why did Jack have such a warm, kind, cozy, inviting presence - no, who was he thinking of? Maybe Angela. He was Jack Hodgins, he spoke his mind, he was strong and direct, a little arrogant but kind of awesome if he did say so himself. He shouldn't have any trouble with this. Hodgins walked over to Zack.

"Let's get some coffee, Addy."

Zack dropped what he was doing in the sense that he carefully set down the bone and the tool he was using. They grabbed two coffee cups and found a quiet spot.

"I feel I need to make some things very clear. I have what I want - you and me, just friends. If you want more, sorry man. You can't get it here. Can you deal with that?" Hodgins made sure to keep his voice mild.

Zack was slow to answer.

"I think so." Zack seemed subdued. Jack wasn't sure he was getting it.

"So we're cool. You can be around, but not climb all over me?"

"I'll restrain my sexual impulses. I've had a lot of practice and I have excellent self control," Zack sounded resigned and also boastful. Jack looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Self pity does not make you more attractive," Jack said rather than assert his own superior self control.

"I don't care about attractiveness. I withdraw my offer of sexual favors for the sake of our friendship." Zack stood up decisively, deposited his cup in the trash and left.

Looking at Zack's back, Jack wasn't sure if he believed what he just heard. Drop him just like that? All the hopes and dreams, wild, unfulfilled sexual longings. No. It was probably a ploy. You can never trust smart people. Jack knew this being smart and therefore untrustworthy. For all he knew he was playing some trick on himself right now. Looking at Zack, wanting to go after him, put a friendly arm around Zack and give him a simple little hug, and a little test. Smart people are idiots.

Jack went back to his work, nodded at Zack as he passed - a manly nod that said, glad we got that straightened out. His world was now safe for friendship without benefits. As he sat down, he told himself not to turn around and stare at Zack with suspicion or anything else.

* * *

It had been a more than a week, and Zack did not maul Jack, brush up against him, or even look at him with a special gleam in his eye. That was good. Hodgins had Zack exactly where he wanted him - completely uninterested. But just to make sure, Jack decided to test the waters. He approached Zack who was at his computer, typing a report.

"Zack," he whispered in his ear.

"Hmm?" Zack said absently and scratched his ear like Jack was a pesky insect and not the object of his desire. He seemed to forget all about Jack standing right over his shoulder and didn't even pause in his work. Half a minute later he turned to get up. Jack didn't move when he should have and Zack bumped into him.

"Two objects can't occupy the same space at the same time," Zack lectured like the huge nerd that he was.

"I think I've heard that somewhere."

Zack nodded and went to examine tiny bone fragments. Hodgins positioned himself by his side and waited to be noticed. Zack just kept on looking at magnified bone chips.

"So how are we doing, Zack?" Jack spoke up rather than waste any more time waiting to be noticed.

"We?" Zack asked like he was wondering if they had some kind of joint project he had forgotten about.

"You, regarding me. Your attraction. Your insatiable, burning, all consuming..."

Jack trailed off as Zack stared at him like he had no idea what he was talking about.

"So no lingering desires?" Jack sounded as if he was questioning him about symptoms. Just making sure the treatment worked.

"No. It was just an idea. And probably not a good one. Just something to try."

Hodgins took a moment to fume.

"Something to try? Like bacon flavored ice cream? Something you probably wouldn't like but you want to give it a taste test, just in case. You jeopardized our friendship out of idle curiosity?"

Finally noticing that Jack was getting testy, Zack spoke in his defense.

"Did you know that interpersonal matters are not my forte?" He was not being sarcastic.

"Really? A social dynamo like you?" Jack was being sarcastic, and he put enough bite into his words that even Zack felt the sting. Zack looked at him with narrowed eyes.

Jack sighed like letting air out of a big balloon.

"I guess we dodged a bullet then. It's better if you don't know what you are missing," Jack said a little bitterly but with diminishing heat. Zack nodded and started to turn back to his tiny bones.

"So you want to come over watch a movie, tonight, or something?" Jack asked on a ill advised impulse.

"Ok," Zack agreed easily and without the undue enthusiasm of a hopeful lover.

* * *

Jack was back at his station trying to remember what he was working on. Instead he found himself staring at the back of Zack's head as Zack was once again completely absorbed in his work. Just as he always suspected, there was no justice in this world. Zack had no right to be so serene and undistracted. This was all his fault. He put these disturbing thoughts in Jack's head. And Jack didn't need any more thoughts in his head. All that energy spent discouraging Zack. And while Jack was worrying how he was going to preserve his friendship with Zack while cruelly rejecting him, Zack got over him. How could Zack be over him? No, no. That took years. That took therapy. Jack Hodgins wasn't a common cold, you didn't get over him in a week. No. He was a stubborn and pernicious parasite, insidious, dangerous and difficult to remove like _Dracunculus medinensis _or _loa loa filaria_ . But more attractive.

No. This was not the end. It was a declaration of war. All might look calm, but he and Zack were locked in a struggle. Jack's refusal against Zack's desire, Jack's sexiness against Zack's self control, teeth at the throat, claws rending flesh. A bloody, savage battle raged invisible to the naked eye. Jack would not be defeated. He would be king. Jacks stared ahead with determination. He wondered if he should make popcorn.

* * *

to be continued


	3. Chapter 3

It's Good To Be The King

Chapter 3

* * *

Having a friend over for a movie was no big deal. It did not require pacing or fluffing the couch pillows. That's why Hodgins was sitting on his couch, rigid, immobile and way too tense for the occasion. He jumped when Zack rang the doorbell.

Opening the door for Zack, gingerly, only a crack, Hodgins gave him a visual frisking. He made sure Zack didn't carry anything like flowers, a heart shaped box of chocolates, handcuffs or a sex toy. He also checked that he wasn't dressed inappropriately for casual movie watching. He wasn't wearing leather, spandex, or a French maid's outfit, so he was allowed in. Hodgins rubbed his temples to evict Zack in various outfits from his brain. An ordinary version of Zack sat on the couch, and picked up a big bowl of Cheetos from the coffee table.

"What are we watching?" he asked.

"Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes." Jack tried not to be distracted by the suddenly interesting sight of Zack stuffing a Cheeto in his mouth.

Jack started the movie then stood there considering where to sit. He tried his favorite recliner but found that instead of watching the movie he was watching Zack watching the movie. Also he was too far away from the snacks. He moved to the couch. Almost immediately he was up again reaching for a soda. When he sat back down his arm was against Zack's. Was this it? In one electric moment would all his hard work of discouragement be undone? But Zack didn't seem to find arm to arm contact particularly arousing. He just kept watching the movie. Jack timed his grab for a handful of Cheetos so that his and Zack's hands would touch. He watched for a reaction. Zack just passed the bowl over to him. Jack sighed.

"You don't like it?" Zack asked in response to the sigh. It took Jack a minute to figure out that he was referring to the DVD. Jack glanced up at the screen possibly for the first time. Unlike him, Zack was not distracted at all. Jack decided to fix that.

"You're not mad at me or anything? You know, for turning you down," Jack probed.

"No," Zack said, giving most of his attention to the movie, the rest to snacks.

"So you are OK? I don't have to make it up to you or anything?"

"I don't like being rejected so you could..."

"Who's rejecting you?" Jack interrupted in a seductive voice.

Zack didn't seem to take the hint and just kept talking.

"You might want to check my Amazon list for an appropriately apologetic gift."

"What?" Jack glared at Zack. Zack was unfazed by the glare because he didn't take his eyes off the TV screen.

"You started this, you know. I can't believe I have to seduce you." Jack said, getting up and almost spilling the Cheetos.

Zack placed the Cheetos bowl securely on the coffee table. He paused the DVD. He looked thoughtful while Jack waited for a response.

"Are you good at seducing?" Zack asked looking up at Jack.

"Of course I am." Jack's answer was automatic. There was no doubt about that. he was a master.

"Then I'll look forward to being seduced," Zack said, got up, wiped his hands on his pant legs and left.

Jack stared after him and after a long delay yelled, "What?!"

* * *

Knowing he should cut his losses and pack it in didn't make any difference to a gambling addict or to Hodgins. The guy who gets up from the table gives up any chance of winning. The guy who sticks it out against all reason, tries to bluff his way through while holding a crappy hand - he gets to lose his shirt. Jack was more worried about losing his pants and his dignity. All day Jack had resisted the urge to corner Zack at work, or to throw spitballs at his neck. He waited till they got home to lose his dignity and possibly pants. He dragged Zack back to the scene of the crime and confessed to the gruesome deed.

"You were seducing me?" Zack asked innocently after Jack painstakingly explained his crime to the intended victim..

"Yes," Jack gasped like a dying fish.

"With the big bowl of Cheetos and a rented movie?"

"Yes. And why not?" Zack apparently had issues with his weapons of choice.

"Are Cheetos usually part of your seduction strategy? Not oysters or caviar perhaps? Do they serve Cheetos in fancy restaurants?"

"They serve whatever they can charge two hundred bucks a plate for!"

_Crassostrea gigas _on ice and _Acipenseridae_ roe on toast points, wouldn't that be just perfect. He could just see feeding those to Zack in the soft glow of candlelight while romantic music set the mood. Greedy little bastard. Zack would be lucky to get a frozen fish stick and some furtive groping. If that.

"Zack, do you know what you are saying? You want a date?"

Zack did not think this was an outlandish idea. He thought it was an invitation.

"I am free Friday night," Zack said.

"You are free every night!"

"Then I accept." Zack got up to leave. Jack blocked his way.

"OK. Just satisfy my curiosity. What would you wear if I took you to a fancy restaurant?"

"A suit," was Zack's simple-minded reply.

"Your courtroom suit?"

"Yes."

Jack continued interrogating, pacing the floor. Zack cooperatively followed him with his eyes.

"And you want me to go all out?" Jack asked.

"Yes."

"Zack, do you know that you are not a woman?" Here Jack stopped to stare at Zack, to see if anything he said registered. Of course it didn't.

"I did know that, all the major anatomical markers..."

Jack stopped him with an upraised hand and sighed. God, he was so dense.

"I was hoping that making it with a guy might at least have some benefits like not having to make reservations, dress up or worry about how I smelled."

"I would prefer it if you bathed."

"We'll bathe together. After." Jack missed Zack's smile at that promise since he didn't realize he made it as he was in the middle of a rant. "You know what? I have nothing to prove. You know me. If I haven't impressed you, I got nothing. If you don't like the basic model, don't buy. I'm not throwing in any extras." Who the hell did Zack think he was?

Jack was thinking that his ultimatum might put an end to this ridiculous negotiation for his much sought after sexual favors. Zack was thinking something else. He was staring back at Jack appraisingly, like Jack was a car he might or might not buy.

"I haven't seen you naked yet," was Zack's next demand. And then what? A test drive?

"I'll strip right now." Jack took up the challenge and pulled his shirt off over his head. He threw it on the floor at Zack's feet. Not seeing this as a gauntlet being thrown down, but more as an offering, Zack reached to pick up the shirt. Jack snatched it away and put it back on.

"Can you do it more slowly?" Zack asked. He sat down, made himself comfortable.

"Want some music with that?" Jack asked pulling his shirt back into place.

"Do you have stripping music?"

"Zack."

"What?"

"Can we get real?"

"Naked is real."

"I'm not stripping unless you're stripping."

"But if I strip I can't watch you strip."

"God, you are weird.," Jack said as he sat down too. "The good news is I think our friendship is safe."

"I'm glad. Can you strip now?" Zack said turning halfway to him.

"You really want to see me naked?"

"Yes. I've pictured it. Not just it," Zack pointed. "But it is my main point of interest. Then your buttocks." Zack pointed again.

Jack was uneasy at these words. And there was a look in Zack's eyes, a dark, frightening gleam. For some reason Jack saw a _Pepsis formosa_ stinger paralyzing a carefully chosen tarantula, a nice, plump _Theraphosa blondi_ let's say, to be dragged off to its burrow for further unspeakable acts.

"Zack, what do you think you're going to be doing with my ass?"

"Things I've read about."

What had Zack been reading?

"You are scaring me." Jack stood up.

"I'll be gentle and considerate. I am aware of physical limitations of male anatomy, partly from my own personal experience and experimentation and also from extensive study. I wouldn't want to damage you."

Jack gaped.

"Zack, I don't know if I want to laugh or run away."

"I notice that you didn't mention stripping among your options. I can't do any of the things I am planning if you are clothed."

"I'm supposed to be seducing you," Jack reminded him, though it seemed to him things had gone way beyond that.

"You are very slow at it."

"Want some Cheetos?"

"No."

Jack went to the kitchen anyway after warning Zack not to follow him. God knows what ideas he would get in there. Jack poured himself a glass of water, then pored it out deciding on a shot of something else. After grabbing the first bottle at hand, he skipped the glass. Like a good host, he briefly considered offering some to Zack. Drunk Zack. The thought made him shudder. He capped the bottle, realizing that drunk Jack was also a bad idea. The last thing he wanted was to be at Zack's mercy. Hit by the realization that he was cowering in his own kitchen, Jack stared at his distorted reflection in the microwave door. What was wrong with this picture? This was his house, he was king here. That sneaky bastard infiltrated the place, and now Jack had to make up for lost ground. If this was a competition - and it was - so far Zack was winning. Oh, no. Not on Jack's home turf. He may have gone into the kitchen as a man in need of courage, but he strode out as a man of decision, a man of power. He was taking charge.

"Zack, let me explain something to you..."

A good way for Jack to guarantee himself a headache was to try and explain a piece of human psychology to Zack. The best part was that Jack didn't understand it himself and was just throwing out cliches for the hell of it. Or maybe it wasn't hard to understand. Fear is pretty straightforward. Jack decided to go for a more exotic explanation for why things just couldn't work out for him and Zack.

"So you only want me when I am not interested," Zack summed up.

"Zack, I'm a man. I'm a hunter. I don't want my pray coming after me." Jack pictures himself as a spear wielding, fir bedecked, prehistoric hunter. That's right, he was a hunter. Oh, this was good stuff, primal and manly. And he was in need of a big dose manly right now.

"I'm not pray," Zack bleated.

"It's how I operate. " Jack did his best to put a little danger into his voice.

Zack turned his back.

"Ok, I'm ignoring you. Go ahead. You can pounce on me."

Jack pictured taking him down like a leggy gazelle at a watering hole. Zack was scratching his ear.

"You call that a challenge. At least put up your horns." Maybe a hunting analogy wasn't for Zack. "Let's say that it's like an easy algorithm, where's the fun? "

Zack turned to face him.

"I see. In this scenario you are too smart and I am too simple?

"The first part, definitely." The second part too but he decided not to insult Zack to his face. And immediately regretted it.

"I am smarter than you," Zack said.

"Don't start pulling out the IQ test. Let's confine this discussion to matters bellow the belt."

"I'd like to do things that involve above the belt areas as well as below the belt and above the belt areas in combination."

"Really? You want the combination?"

Zack nodded.

"Ok. Let's do it!" Jack kicked off his shoes. Words weren't going to win this. If it was going to take action to get the job done, then Jack was a man of action. Jack took off his belt.

"Not the IQ test the other thing, right? Because I will win the IQ test," Zack asked stupidly.

Why would he need to take off his shoes and belt for an IQ test? Instead of asking, Hodgins grabbed Zack and gave him a good, deep kiss. He pulled back a little out of breath leaving Zack a little stunned.

"OK. That's better. Conversation over. Good." Jack was a little stunned himself. The physical reality of this thing was kicking in and he was reeling. This was it. Zack didn't wait for him to get his head together if that was even possible. He moved in for another kiss. Now on the receiving end, Jack found himself comparing their techniques.

"I kiss better," he said when they stopped for air.

"That is a completely baseless assertion since you could never be on the receiving end of your own kiss," Zack countered.

"Are you going to argue with me about everything?"

"If you keep making unfounded claims."

They kissed again this time slower and somewhere along the way Jack even stopped showing off. Instead, he became aware of his arms around Zack and Zack's around him, crushing them against each other. He was aware of their bodies grinding together, the friction of their clothes, their zippers. The wet slide of their mouths would stop for the occasional breath. Feeling the change in Zack's body and wanting Zack to feel him, still somewhere in the back of Jack's mind he wanted to impress him. Jack stopped. Zack looked bewildered, wide eyed, gripping his shirt so he couldn't move away. Jack reached down to his fly and unzipped himself.

Zack looked at what was offered to him with an expression Jack hoped was admiration.

"I like it," Zack announced.

"Glad to hear that because you are about to get well acquainted with it," Jack said surprised with the hoarseness in his voice. He put his hand on Zack's neck. "Get down," he told him.

Zack looked a little shocked as he kneeled. He also looked like he didn't know where to start. Jack expected he would need to give a few instructions. Then Zack started licking and Jack's instructions were just a continuous "mmmm".

"I think you should sit down," Zack advised. Jack briefly wondered how many points he lost for not being able to stay on his feet. He knew he already lost some for the complaining moan when Zack took his mouth off him.

Jack sat. Zack pulled Jack's pants down to his ankles to make room for himself between his knees. Jack pushed back Zack's hair to see that he had a very serious look on his face, like a man determined to win an all you can eat contest on his first try.

"Zack, don't get too ambitious."

Zak looked up.

"I think this is an important skill."

Sure, like removing every last speck of flesh from a bone, Jack thought but he was afraid if he said it out loud Zack would launch into a discussion of actual methods. With his pants down and Zack's lips back on the job, Jack was not in the mood for that. He briefly felt the entrance to Zack's throat. He gasped.

"Stay in the shallow end. Don't want you to drown."

"I can swim."

"What does that mean?" Zack didn't answer he went back to using his tongue. As Jack's brain was swimming, liquefying with pleasure, Jack vaguely wondered if what he was feeling was talent or experience or something else, something uniquely Zack.

* * *

to be continued


	4. Chapter 4

It's Good To Be The King

Chapter 4

* * *

Jack woke up on the couch. Mostly on the couch, also mostly dressed. That was a relief. It was also a relief that Zack was nowhere in sight. When Jack first opened his eyes, there had been a barrage of indecent images accompanied by the usual morning wood. He took care of one, but those images needed to be sorted, labeled, cataloged. Jack needed a week off, at least, maybe somewhere tropical, far away from Zack. Even as he was thinking about escape, Jack was getting ready for work.

Trying to find his keys, Jack was down on his hands and knees so he could see under the couch. He wondered if he would ever be able to look that couch in the eye again. Keys found, Jack stood ready to leave in socks but no shoes. If he didn't take the time to get his shoes on, he could drive off, ditch Zack, make him take the bus.

Jack was putting on his shoes when the door opened. Zack came in and hovered over him. He wasn't as easy to avoid as the couch.

"You fell asleep," Zack said.

Jack glared at his accuser. He knew there would be a reckoning.

"I came, you came, then I fell asleep. Don't make it sound like I dropped off in the middle like some geriatric or drunk fratboy."

Jack was up and almost through the door when he heard Zack say, "I won."

"What was that?" Jack asked as he continued to the car.

It was cool enough outside to be bracing. The morning haze was almost gone leaving the air slightly damp, fresh like something washed and hung up to dry. Jack took some good lung-fulls to remind himself it was morning, a new day, and that he needed to set Zack straight on a few facts.

"You fell asleep. I won," Zack repeated his claim, grabbing for the trophy, the medal, the prize, the giant check.

"You came in less than four minutes. I won." Droplets flew off the car door as Jack opened it.

"You timed it wrong. What I was doing to you had as much to do with my orgasm as what you were doing to me."

That explanation flashed in Jack's mind as a strobe effect of Zack's body and face under the influence of Jack. Jack decided not to think too hard about it and definitely not to visualize, not on the drive to work. He would save it for later, make Zack elaborate and then demonstrate. For now he would just pull Zack off the podium and let him know that he misheard. It was Jack in first place, Jack not Zack.

"No loopholes, Addy. Take your loss like a man." Jack turned on the wipers to clear the dew from the windshield.

"They are variables, not loopholes. I think calculating the exact score would..."

"Stop calculating and scoring. Math has no place in sex."

In the middle of buckling up, Zack stopped. He looked over at Jack like he had said something a little shocking, even unscientific. Ignoring him, Jack focused on pulling out of the long driveway.

The traffic seemed loose. It had a good flow for morning rush hour. They were hitting green lights. Jack felt pushed, rushed, heading somewhere too fast. But who complained about good traffic?

"Math has a place in everything." Of course Zack thought that. What a lunatic.

"OK, I'm as nerdy as the next guy..." Jack was starting to say before Zack rightly corrected him.

"I'm the next guy."

"Point taken. I'm not as nerdy as the next guy. You know what? Do the math in your head. Don't show your work and keep the results to yourself."

"So you concede."

Even without looking, Jack could feel the smug contentment emanating from Zack, comfy over in his seat, savoring a victory that he had not earned. That had to be set right.

"I do not concede. I won. I clearly won," Jack said as he honked at a guy trying to cut him off.

* * *

As Angela deftly avoided a head on collision with Hodgins on the walkway, she smiled her dimply, all knowing smile.

"You look..." She started to observe before Hodgins' upraised hand stopped her.

"Angela, do me a favor. Don't be perceptive right now."

"Hodgins." And by saying his name, she meant 'if you could see what you look like, honey'.

Hodgins couldn't see what he looked like. In fact he couldn't see much of anything. He spent his workday in a fog. While on autopilot, he assumed that he did his work with his usual expertise and brilliance. If he were to testify at a trial, he would be at the mercy of his notes. He hoped they were copious and detailed, and not just obscene doodles.

* * *

Somehow Jack had sidestepped Zack at work. He really did not want to confirm that Zack could send him into a sexual tailspin while remaining unperturbed himself. Like some kind of badly designed, naive, sex robot, Zack seemed to have no sense of shame or even basic self-awareness. This abrupt, mind blowing change in their relationship had no more impact on him than a new brand of toothpaste. But it would still be wrong to punch him in the face while at work.

Before heading home together to God knows what depravity, they grabbed dinner at the diner. Jack ate quickly at one point biting into his napkin. He watched Zack acting completely like himself - loopy but unphased. Jack had been right to avoid him. At close range, it was infuriating. Over the last few years Jack had compiled a few how to get away with murder scenarios. He wondered if he would have to use one of them on his once dear friend Zack.

"Addy, fair warning, if you don't start looking at least a little ill at ease, I promise you, there won't be a single bone left of you to analyze."

Zack stopped eating to calmly consider this from a practical, scientific standpoint.

"Would you use one of the superacids? Fluoroantimonic acid? Or an organic…"

"Hold the inappropriate enthusiasm. That was a murder threat."

Didn't this guy have a normal, human response to anything? Zack was eager to get his body dissolved for the sake of pure, scientific, geek enjoyment of it.

"Would this be one of your perfect crimes, with a biological agent or..." And there he goes again.

Jack struggled to swallow his food while trying to kick Zack under the table. He missed.

"You are showing disturbing, violent tendencies," Zack observed while not being disturbed at all.

"Not only do you take it in stride that we ... did what we did. But you don't even blink when I threaten your young life."

"I definitely blinked." Zack said as he ate. "Will it make you feel better to know that I had trouble falling asleep? I took me..."

Jack had to choke down another bite of his food so he could interrupt this attempt to seem human.

"Did you lie awake all night?" Jack asked.

"No."

"Then shut up." Not that Jack lay awake either as Zack had so eagerly pointed out. He dropped off into what might have been the deepest sleep of his life.

"You are just upset because you lost," Zack muttered.

Hodgins got up.

"Pay the bill," he commanded.

"Does that mean this was a date? Because we usually split..."

Hodgins threw some money on the table decisively as anything else would make him the girl in this fiasco.

* * *

When they got home, they didn't go their separate ways even though Hodgins' mood suggested he might throttle Zack if he so much as looked at him. Zack went to his place, Jack went with him.

Zack kicked off his shoes and started taking off his clothes like a kid on the beach on the first day of vacation. He couldn't wait to jump in. Seeing that Hodgins was just standing there fully clothed and a little dumbfounded, Zack stopped with one pant leg still dangling off his foot.

"If we agree on the terms of the contest beforehand..." Zack started to say.

This was not what had Jack frozen up. He was that kid who runs into the water then runs back out shivering. Jack looked over at Zack, stupidly oblivious Zack. But he had the right idea. Time for Jack to stop thinking of himself as a wimpy kid. Time to start thinking of himself as a born winner, a true athlete, and most of all, a man - all muscle, anything to win, play through the pain, curse out the ref, spit at his feet, slam the competition into the wall, take your penalties like a man, gold or nothing. Oh yeah, put Jack back in the game.

"Put up a score board. Get out your stopwatch." Jack challenged while he ripped off his clothes like a man getting ready for a fight.

"A time based scoring system only works if we agree on when to start timing."

"In your face, Zack! I won the first round, I'll win the next round, just get used to it."

If this was supposed to psych out the competition, Hodgins had forgotten whose psyche he was grappling with.

"Sexual activity is a lot like facial reconstruction," Zack observed while he watched as Jack's clothes flew off and more and more of his body came into view.

"Is this going to be a sexy analogy, Zack? Because I'm thinking, it won't."

"Both are largely subjective and lack standardization," Zack explained.

"Aha, that's why we leave it to the artists. You want to standardize sex? You don't know how to turn your brain off."

"It doesn't turn off," Zack admitted, though he might have meant literally. "I think any activity can be enhanced by intensive analysis and quantification."

Instead of getting bogged down in explaining to Zack how very, very wrong he was, Hodgins decided his tongue in Zack's mouth was the only way to put an end to this. Except Jack didn't want to stop the argument, he wanted to win it. So he only briefly invaded Zack's mouth.

"I can settle this. Bring out the protective gear. I'm going to be shutting you down, and shutting you up," Jack promised.

"Is this another murder threat?" Zack asked as he hopped on one foot to try and free the other one from his pant leg.

"We're taking this all the way. Come on. Bedroom." Jack pulled on Zack who was still trying to kick his pants off his foot.

Then Jack didn't feel so sure. He looked at Zack who was standing there free of his pants.

"Bedroom? If you're ...?"

Zack nodded like there was no need to ask, no need to think it over. Seeing Zack charging ahead, no hesitation, Jack was a little bit ashamed. One minute Jack takes the lead, he pulls ahead, and then he stops to let Zack catch up. That's not what a winner does. A winner takes victory in his teeth, locks his jaws around it, and doesn't let go. Jack was that winner, that animal, that predator. Maybe a little defensive at times like the _Pentatomoidea_, or if he didn't want to compare himself to a stink bug, the _Anthocoridae_. There was also the swell shark, _Cephaloscyllium ventriosum, _and the dwarf crocodile, _Osteolaemus tetraspis. _Predators both, but desirable to other predators and rightly cautious because of it. Jack had reason to be cautious - he was a tasty peace of meat. But he had teeth. It was time to satisfy his hunger.

Looking around, Jack saw how juvenile Zack's bedroom looked. It was a time warp. On a lazy afternoon, Hodgins was lying on the bed of a friend from school, looking at his porn collection, getting more worked up by the minute. For some reason it was extra hot to stroke himself while another guy stroked himself next to him even if they never looked at each other. He couldn't remember thinking things over then. Barely an adolescent, he had let his dick take control. Maybe this was a good moment to be caught in. A moment of regression, stepping back into a more primal state where action followed action, no room for thought. He grinned at Zack. He was in for it.

There were hardly any clothes left to slow them down. Took seconds to get rid of any obstacles. Then the order came, low and raspy right out of Jack's throat.

"Get into position. Not that position."

Though the ass in the air, face smashed into the mattress position had a strong appeal, Hodgins still pushed Zack over until he was facing him. Jack was still Jack. He needed information. He needed to keep his eyes on Zack, watch for clues, warning signs, signs of impending orgasm, whatever there might be to see that would not be written on the back of Zack's head.

As they were positioning themselves, aligning their limbs, tangling, untangling, kissing, Jack brought Zack's arm to his mouth where he could lick and taste his skin. Jack bit him. Not hard, just applied his teeth for a taste of flesh. Zack gasped and dropped flat on the mattress. Jack bit his shoulder, the base of his neck a little.

"Should I bite you too?"

Zack asked too many questions. Next he would ask him to fill out a survey.

"Zack, did I ask you for instructions?" Jack was turning Zack's bedside drawer upside down, even though what he was looking for was right on top of the nightstand. He grabbed the lube impatiently, then stared at it. One would think he was the one who needed instructions.

"So I can do whatever I want." Zack took the lube from him. Jack took it back.

"No, not whatever you want." How did Zack manage to be so scary. Maybe he should make him ask for permission before he did anything. Either that or come up with a safe word.

There is no such thing as a safe word, there is no safe anything, Jack thought as his slick finger went into a hole far too small for the purpose he had in mind. At first, Zack pulled back then pushed forward, giving himself into his hands. Jack kept working, creating space for himself. He was sculpting. He was an artist, a magician. Jack wondered how many fingers he could get in, and who'd get the points for that. Zack was twisting. He was asking for more. Needled by impatience, Jack reminded himself to breathe, to think, to stay in control, to win. Seeing how hard Zack was pulling on himself, Jack grabbed his hand. Then he took his fingers out of him. Zack made a sobbing sound, almost a sound of pain. Jack had the urge to stare him down in this state of need, show him who was in control. But since he was seconds away from losing that control, he didn't risk it.

With his hands on the back of Zack's knees, Jack folded him up like a lawn chair. As he pushed down on Zack's legs, the manipulating of Zack's naked body made his head swim. Add to it the way Zack was adjusting his position, giving Jack full access, inviting him in. Jack wondered how long he would last. He had to last, he had to win. Jack grunted, most of his effort going into holding back. Zack's eyes traveled the room, not looking, just trying to leave his head, just like his mouth was opening and closing without any sounds coming out.

"How does that feel?" Jack asked. He could hardly talk. Every muscle in his body just wanted to push further in. He gave himself a truckload of points for self-control.

"Strange."

Zack had a waiting expression, like someone listening, not sure what they heard, waiting for the sound to come again. Except the sound came from Zack.

"Ow, ahh."

Jack had leaned in, felt Zack's body give, letting him further in. Then the protest and he stopped.

"Can you take more?" Jack asked after a few seconds, which felt much longer as Zack's body squeezed him.

"Of course I can." Zack's voice took on a defensive, competitive tone.

Jack needed more traction. He had Zack held his own legs out of the way. Jack had his hands under his hips, lifting him.

"I want to do that too," Zack said.

Jack almost lost whatever ground he had gained. He decided to pretend he didn't hear him. He thrust instead.

"Too much, too much," Zack complained.

"I'll remind you you said that," Jack told him with a wicked grin as he eased up a little. He thrust again, rubbed Zack's ass, thrust again. Zack only breathed hard. Then Jack was in as far as he could go. Zack gulped a little.

"How do you feel now?"

"I... it's …"

That was good. Jack liked leaving him speechless.

"Good, Zack. Say 'good'."

Zack didn't speak, he shuddered as Jack moved. The words came a little later, sounding like the ravings of someone in delirium.

"Ahh, you have to feel this. It's a unique, ahh, ahh."

Seeing Zack writhe and moan, Jack almost wanted to feel it. But only out of scientific curiosity. Mainly he wanted to make Zack like it so much he would forget all about wanting to take turns.

"You like it." Jack told him. There was no doubt any more.

"Jack! Jack!" Zack sounded like he was calling him from another room, "I might be reaching some kind of limit."

"Hang on to something. I am not letting up and it's only going to get more... more… Zack! Zack, tell me how it feels."

But Zack was gritting his teeth. His moans still coming through. Arching his back like he wanted both to escape and come closer. He gripped himself, but then let go.

Jack could feel Zack's body shaking. Sweat was making them slick, sliding off them. Jack's sweat dripped on Zack. Sweat made Zack's hands slip from the back of his knees. He regained his grip, turning his knuckles white again. Then he gave up. He let go. His legs going over Jack's shoulders until Jack pulled up, took hold of them, gained more leverage. Zack stroked himself faster and faster.

Jack was working him over, only vaguely worrying that he might be hurting him. Zack's head was so far back, Jack could hardly see his face. His moans had become low, throaty shouts for release. Then it was all over in a blinding, searing flood of everything coming to one point, then spreading out again. Partly coming back to his senses, Jack fell over, laughing, slipped out and off Zack, slumped next to him.

"Ohh. That's the way to win an argument." Jack was very pleased with himself. He wiped at the sweat on his face.

"You didn't win," Zack said even though he had no credibility at all as he lay there stunned and flushed. Definitely not the winner, more like the spoils of war, a treasure chest ransacked, the pray half devoured.

"You seemed a little over stimulated," Jack observed. But thinking about it Jack had to add, "I wasn't exactly in full control either."

Zack was slowly coming back to himself and ready to analyze and postulate.

"I agree. It's like devolving. The body becomes everything. If you had stopped, I think I might have killed you," Zack confessed.

"You have definitely been over stimulated." Once again, Jack found himself a little frightened of Zack and sleepy.

"I have to do that to you," Zack said with a certainty that made Jack more frightened and more awake. Jack raised himself on one elbow to make sure Zack was as serious as he sounded.

"I thought I might have knocked that idea right out of you." Jack dropped flat on the bed again, too exhausted to stare at Zack. Especially since Zack's face wasn't at all reassuring. He had the hot face and the shiny eyes of a feverish, mental patient.

"Oh, no. I have to give you the same experience. Plus I want to feel what it's was like for you," Zack explained in a reasonable tone.

"I'll describe it for you." Jack wondered what he would have to do to Zack to show him that who did what to whom had been decided, preordained, written in stone. There was only one king. He had been crowned and his name was His Royal Majesty Jack Hodgins.

"Only first hand knowledge…" Zack was still arguing.

"I am all for the research, for knowledge and fair play…"

"It's not about fairness. We should immerse ourselves and explore the experience completely, from every perspective."

"We can 69, ok," Jack offered in the hopes of burying Zack's crazy idea under an avalanche of other, less crazy ideas.

"We can do everything." Zack smiled and the beatific nature of the smile made Jack shudder right down to his bones. He rolled away from Zack and right off the bed, landing on his feet.

"I knew it would be like this. I knew you would be out of control. Give you an inch, " Jack said as he went to get his pants.

"It was several inches," Zack corrected him. Jack was shocked that he didn't come up with a more precise figure.

"Let's not start pulling out the ruler. This boy gone wild attitude of yours…"

"Should we set up a camera? Then we can study our…" Obviously every word Jack said had Zack brainstorming more scientific depravity. This is what happens when you take a cerebral, sheltered, near virgin and show him what the flesh can do. Jack decided to cut his loses. He would carry his shoes and get the hell out of there.

"I'm going before you start talking handcuffs and leather masks."

"You have them? Where do you keep them?" Zack asked eagerly and Jack had no one to blame but himself.

Seeing Zack coming out of the bedroom as if he was going on a naked treasure hunt, Jack wondered if he would need a whip and a chair. God help him if he mentions whips to Zack. He really needed to get out.

"Stay where you are. You are banned from the main house. I'll see you tomorrow," Jack said, backed out the door and closed it firmly behind him. He then opened it again just enough to poke his head in.

"Don't embarrass me at work," Jack added, getting one last look at Zack naked, before he left.

* * *

to be continued


End file.
